Thank you.

Two simple words yet they fail me when I need them most. Example, today on the bus the universe granted one of my wishes. Many of you know Adonis well today something happend that goes like this:

Me *walking off the bus*
AD: Oh (insert my name here, of course he said my real name, but I"m not posting that) I forget to tell you... you look nice today. I was going to tell you this morning...(trails off)
Me *Give thumbs up sign and smiles sarcastic like*
AD: *Gives thumbs up back*

I know I know why am I such a dofus? I couldn't even mutter something simple like thank you. I think it is because I'm shy, but we all know that I'm just making excuses so I feel better about my self. I hope to the universe he didn't doesn't won't care that I'm such a jerk. Of course I don't like him any more (that doesn't mean he isn't good looking, but I've come to realize he is just as immature as everyone else). I think this whole thing is like the typical - I love you, thank you drama (If you don't know what I'm talking about it means you have a life and don't watch 9 million hours of TV, and if you do don't feel bad we're all losers at some point in our lives). I think I just have an overall compliment getting problem. I always feel people aren't being geinuine when they give me compliments. Especially if it is someone I don't know well, but that stinks because it is all the more important to be respectful to people you don't know. Anyways I'm sure he doesn't care and he isn't getting all over analitical. There is a really great contest from PETA if you're interested: http://blog.peta.org/archives/2009/02/win_it_wednesda.php

Everything is not going to be alright.

I'm one of those very annoying people who say, "Every thing will be alright" or "It will all work out." It usually does work out for me so I really don't know what to say. I'm usually extremely optimistic, but when triggered I can just roll out the sarcasm (not that I don't do that anyways). I usually tell myself, "Once you believe something is possible, then it is." It is all the power of positive thinking. I really think people could use that now. Eventually you do get what you need. You just really have to believe. If you want to hear about hardships read Upton Sinclair's The Jungle. This guy loses everything. It is a fictional story based off of true events (so Historical Ficition). My thoughts are all jumbled up today, so of course my righting isn't that great. Well that is all I have to say =) use the power.

I'm mad at you, no I'm mad at me

I do this thing were I get severly pissed off, and have these conversations in my head. Example:

Me=Me S=Subconcious (or consicous I have no clue but that little voice that is always right)

Me: Why does the universe dislike me with atomic intensity?

S: Maybe it isn't the universe. Why do you dislike yourself with atomic intensity?

Me: I don't *mutter* *mutter*



Me: Why am I so untalented?

S: Quit wanting things you don't have? *under breath* Spoiled Brat

Me: Why would I want them if I could have them?

S: You have plenty of talents, but not the rare kind.

Me: Oh thanks *rolls eyes*



These are the exact reasons why I believe no one should pay for therapy. Be your own therapist and save yourself a small fortune. I'm banning myself from TV I believe it is making me depressed (I'm serious). I always know that the movie about the person who got what they really wanted is fake and it only happens in movies, but I always have some glimmer of hope that it could happen to me. Or I could be the person who got everything they wanted blah blah. If I did get what I wanted I would just want more and more and there would be no end so I'm limiting the things I want to these 3 on the list right here.

1. Clear Skin (I can't tell you how many years I've wanted this)


2. To do Ballet and do it well. (I don't know why I desire this so but I do and I thorughly believe you should follow your passions)


3. To have someone outside my family tell me I look pretty. (I know so vain, but ugly people need to hear this more than the people who get told 1 million and 1 times a day. I guess it is something pretty sad to want, but I really just never feel like anyone likes me.)

So those are my three. I think 3 is a good number. Okay now more complaints,

I have been realizing over the past week that no one really likes me that much. I mean sure I have friends, but I always have a feeling that if I were gone no one would miss me. (I'm not talking about suicide, ewww I would never ever do that.) You know how you have friends but no best friends. Like when you have to choose partners you are the one who is always left in the dust. That girl is always me. I'm always stuck with someone I didn't want to work with.

Frustration

As you know I've been battling my acne (just imagine a 13 year old girl with cleanser in hand with a fierce expression). Well every where I go I see, "Oh acne is caused because of diet." This makes sense to me 100%. You are what you eat, but I eat no dairy products (have been known to cause acne). I also rarely eat fried or fatty foods. I think it is because I'm just not being patient. If I could have one thing in the whole world that would be it and it stinks because this is the thing I'm working the hardest and it's the one thing I have no control over. There is no "A" for effort in real life. Speaking of real life I hate how adults are always like, "Just wait until you get into the real world." Well then what the heck is this? Am I just practicing living or something. Is this life a lie? I don't get it. Yeah I know it sucks to be you Bills, Kids, Debt, Morgage, blah. I'm tired of hearing it. I will make a pact I should quit complaining about my life because it is so unimaginably boring and annoying to hear people complain. I good thing I didn't start this pact when I started my blog or I would have nothing to blog about. I think there is no point in complaining about something unless you are going to do something about it.
I apologize about my acne rant, I know I will eventually have clear skin but I hate waiting.

All revved up and no one to punch...

Well I've been watching videos on YouTube, and as usual I find ignorant people (this isn't too hard as there are a lot of them). I'm getting kind of tired right now so I'm not going to go on about why everyone should be a vegan blah blah blah the usual crap. Wait...no I have to do that otherwise I would have nothing to talk about. Instead of being all mean I'm going to talk about my newest greatest passion. I want to be a ballerina. I think over the summer I'll take 1-2 online courses instead of 3-5 and instead of those other courses I'll learn 7 years worth of ballet. First I'll need to work on my straddle and side splits (by work on I mean actually get down to the floor). Next I'll have to work on exercising every part of my body. I'm going to do yoga every day (or 6 days a week) over the summer and spend an hour every day learning ballet terms, another hour doing stretches, and if I can find some ballet teaching videos I'll practice a few ballet moves in my house. Then hopefully I'll be able to keep some of this up for next year and then take ballet classes in 2010. I have not clue how well this is going to work out, but I'm going to give it my best. I can do anything I want to!

I think my murad stuff is working great. My skin isn't 100% clear, but I think perhaps I was using the stuff wrong (I don't know how I screw up something that simple but, like I said people are dumb.)

I got a Wii Fit! I got one last week so you aren't missing out on anything. I think it is great and I might use it for my ballet boot camp. I don't like the yoga at all. I don't feel the same as if I actually went to a yoga class and the instructor is really annoying. I do like pretty much everything else. The games are pretty fun. I'm not really into aerobics so of course I would like that so much, but it was still pretty good. Overall I think I'd give it a 8 or a 9 out of 10.

Keyboard, well I think I have great musical talents. The reason I think this is because everyone in my band class can't remember fingering or scales or anything that requires brainpower. I was just kidding about the musical talents thing because I can't tell pitch any better than a tone deaf person. I have learned basic things like Jingle bells and such, and I'm working on the more complicated stuff. My keyboard was really always meant to be fun so I'm not real hard core.

Spanish. As you may or may not know I'm trying my hardest to learn the Spanish tongue. I've enrolled in an online course to learn Spanish and it actually counts as a grade so I'm staying motivated. I do use busuu.com, livemocha.com, and Rosetta Stone too.

Well that is all I have to say for now my other blog 365 days vegan I think I'm just going to delete it because I can't keep up with that. Besides I don't think anyone is that interested in what I eat anyways.